The Bond That Unites The Two
by Kerjen
Summary: How did Luke and Leia get from a possible romance to the unbreakable tie they have in ROTJ?


**Summary:** Luke and Leia's relationship changed in the years between "A New Hope" and "Return of the Jedi". Leia's tie to Luke comes from more than being twins; it comes from their strong friendship. This story explores what they mean to each other, of Leia's love for Han, and of the struggle each of the three face in letting themselves care again after losing so many they loved. This is the discussion missing from the films: how did Luke and Leia get from a possible romance to the unbreakable tie they have in "Jedi".

**Author's note:** This is a companion piece to "Truth Night", but you needn't have read that story to read this one. The story was originally written before the prequels, but I don't think there's continuity errors. No copyright infringement intended and no money was made.

* * *

The first time Luke woke up, he stirred from the nebulous regions of sleep to the fog of being half-awake and dazed. Still, he knew where he was and what had happened to him. He knew he was injured, and he had escaped death. He knew that a short time ago, Vader had almost killed him before revealing that Luke's father had not died in the Jedi Purge; that, in fact, he, Darth Vader, was Luke's father.

Each memory drove sleep away even as he wanted to slip back to blissful unconsciousness. He started full awake, and looked down as his right hand. More accurately, he stared down at his missing right hand, now somewhere in Bespin, his father's lightsaber perhaps still clutched in the fingers.

Even this shock, though, was numbed. The five words, "No, I am your father", blanketed him heavily with hopelessness. He thought he would never feel anything again, not strongly, not under this weight of a knowledge he didn't want.

He now registered the private medical bay around him, and the dull body aches he felt. Bacta treatments didn't cure everything. He remembered Han saying bacta left enough pain behind so you'd know how bad a shape you were really in.

He was lucky to be alive. Despite his willing fall to the bottom of Cloud City, he wanted to live if he could do so without joining Vader and the Emperor. He was lucky Leia had heard him and lucky for the instinct that told him she would.

He flopped back on the bed, but didn't close his eyes. That's when he first noticed the chair, and the person in it, drawn close to the head of the bed: Leia, curled in the chair's cramp confines, somehow deeply asleep. The last time he had seen her, she was leaning over him, helping him move to his cabin for first aid. His body had finally given out, and the image of Leia, Chewie, and the dark stranger had been replaced with peaceful blackness.

_I wonder if she's been here all this time_, Luke thought, watching her catch much needed rest. He needed some himself so he closed his eyes and, without thinking, flung an arm over them to block the light. Unfortunately, it was his injured one, and pain raced up to the shoulder.

Leia woke at his cry, blinking away sleep as he had done earlier. "Is your arm bothering you?"

"Not really," he said. "I just hit it."

"On what?"

"My hard head."

She smiled, he was glad to see, as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "You're joking. That's a good sign. And you look better than when we first brought you here, although I won't ask how you're feeling."

He found he could smile too. "How are you?"

"I'm all right. Tired."

"I thought..." He hesitated. "Before I came to Bespin, I thought you and Han were hurt."

"That's over, Luke. I'm fine now." She saw he didn't believe it. "Really. I'm more worried about you and whatever happened to you on Bespin." The haunted look showed so clearly that she hurriedly soothed him. "Never mind. When you can talk about it, I'll listen."

He didn't feel guilty for not being open with her. How many things did they and Han keep under the label of guarded secret? Although he less than the other two, for Leia rarely spoke of Alderaan, and no details at all regarding her ordeal on the Death Star. What he knew of it came from hearing her nightmares. What Han stashed away from his past, no one except Chewbacca knew. Luke had learned that details didn't matter. What they revealed was enough; what they shared was more important.

Still, they usually spoke of present hurts since rarely could they hide them. Even now he saw an awareness as Leia looked at him. "There's no reason why you can't know what's happened."

"You don't have to talk about it until you're ready." She watched him struggle with himself, and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "Do you want to tell me?" Realizing it himself, he nodded. "If it helps, I think I know some of it."

He was looking down at her hand. She had placed it so naturally on his injured arm, not minding at all what he considered a horror. But then, he told himself, she probably got used to it on the _Falcon_. He realized he hadn't asked her how long he had been out.

"You fought Vader."

Again he nodded. "Yes," he said hoarsely.

"I guessed from the injuries. No one else could do this to you. And you talked while you slept." Seeing his eyes open wide in alarm, she knew he was hiding more than he would ever tell now. "It's all right. You didn't really say anything, Luke. You just called Vader's name a few times, and Obi-Wan's. I was the only one who heard."

He swallowed. "I didn't say anything else?"

It hurt seeing him this way. So much so, it distracted her from her own pains and worries. "Once you called out to me, yelling that I wouldn't hear you on Bespin, that I wouldn't come. You woke up a little then, but you didn't believe me when I told you we were safe aboard the _Falcon_. You thought you were still on the weather vane and that Vader would get you after all." She took a deep breath. "You scared me with that one. You drifted back to sleep before I was sure that I had convinced you. I thought if you didn't believe me, you might... give up."

"I don't remember that." He reached for her hand with his, and gave it a squeeze. "I know I'm okay now."

"Good." But her smile was weaker this time, and her eyes were haunted like his own.

They sat quietly for a time. Without either realizing it, their hands tightened on the other, holding on for life. The connection was an anchor of security. Unlike the nightmare she just told him about, Luke felt the only reality was this warm lifeline he had by holding Leia's hand. When he spoke, he talked as if recalling a bad dream that had no grasp on him now that he was awake.

"I did fight Vader. I came to Bespin wanting to do it." He no longer looked at her, but at the shadows in the room. "I told you before... I knew you and Han were in trouble."

She winced at the name, but he didn't see it, nor did he feel her hand hold him tighter. "How did you know?" she asked softly.

"I saw it. I saw it before it happened, and I couldn't stop seeing it." He sighed, and burrowed back into his pillow. Then he told her about seeing Ben on Hoth, about going to Dagobah instead of the Alliance rendezvous. He explained about Yoda, and his training, and how much he had learned, and how that had blinded him to what he didn't know. He talked on and on, speaking of everything but Vader being his father. For that, he gave her half-truths and blinds, telling her Vader wanted him to serve the Emperor, and knowing no other way out, he jumped, landing on the vane where she later found him. The talking drained him, eating the small piece of energy his rest had created. And still he spoke, trying to shed whatever hurt he could. "I wasn't ready. I didn't believe it when they told me, but they were right. I shouldn't have gone to Bespin. I didn't help, I made things worse."

"Luke, sshh."

"It's true. Vader used you for bait to get me. If I hadn't..."

"Maybe, Luke. But there are a lot of maybes. Maybe if the _Falcon_'s hyperdrive had worked, maybe if I had left Hoth sooner and gotten to the transport. But we can't change any of it. I wish I could. I do know you would never let me assume all this blame if our places were reversed. You can't help that Vader wanted you, or the means he used to try to get you. What happened is due to Vader and in spite of what you wanted. We never would have gotten out alive if you hadn't confronted him. If you hadn't fought him while we escaped, we'd all be gone. You did what you could, we all did. The rest of it--" She stopped. "The rest I hope we can fix."

"I hope so too." He lay there, watching her as she spoke. Some of what she said helped but the part about Vader... it always got back to Vader and those five words.

"We will."

His eyelids started drooping. "I'm tired."

She grinned. "I'm sure you are."

"I was so worried about what happened, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep again. Now I feel so tired, I don't know how I ever woke up."

"Those worries woke you up."

"Maybe," he mumbled, his eyes already closing. His breathing slowed, evened out. From somewhere, he asked her, "Stay?"

"I will."

His head moved in the slightest nod. "Leia?"

"Yes?"

"I knew you'd come. When I called you? I knew if you could hear me, you'd come back somehow."

"Yes. So would you."

"Always. Even when I shouldn't." And he slept even as he grinned.

. . . .

The next time Luke woke up, Leia was on the other side of a privacy partition put around his bed. She was discussing his condition with the medical droid, concentrating on the surgery needed to attach a cybernetic hand in place of the one he had lost.

Lando stood behind the droid, and popped his head around the partition when he heard Luke stir. Leia frowned at that. She didn't know yet what she wanted to do about Lando. He was still an unknown. For a Rebel, an unknown was troublesome, something not to turn your back on, something to watch. For a Rebel leader, an unknown was danger: something to restrict, to limit, to remove or isolate. Leia never would have brought Lando this far if not for three things. Chewie and his assuming responsibility for the man was one; Leia had the same reasons for distrust and hate that the Wookiee had, but for Chewbacca to take the man's word was not something she'd dismiss lightly. Second, Vader's threat against Lando's world in exchange for the Rebels reminded her of Alderaan and Tarkin, and the third, most important thing was the look in Lando's eyes. She had seen it in so many people who left the Empire to join the Rebellion. Such people didn't look for revenge but for redemption, a chance to wipe blood from their hands by taking down what they helped to create.

The medical droid was winding down with his detailed, jargon laden speech. She focused on his more understandable summary of Luke's current condition and the upcoming surgery.

"Have you asked him if he wants the hand replacement?" she asked.

The droid was not programmed for any emotion other than the soothing bedside manner, so there was no surprise. "He asked for time to think about it and will have his response today. Nevertheless, he approved the preliminary procedures."

"As long as it's what he wants," she said, and dismissed the droid. Passing around the partition, she noticed the two men grew quiet, and wondered if it was in response to her arrival.

Calrissian sat slumped in the bedside chair. Luke watched him patiently, his features set in a listener's pose. When Lando said no more, Skywalker spoke to Leia, "He's been telling me what happened."

She scowled. She had planned on telling Luke herself, but when she looked again at Calrissian, she saw he needed the confession, and she was too tired to argue about it.

The man rubbed his hands on his pants, and finally raised his eyes to her. "I'm going after Han."

"We all are," she said.

"I'm just telling you that I'm coming along."

"We'll need you," Luke said to him, ignoring Leia's glance.

Lando nodded, and stood up to go. "I'm meeting Chewie at the _Falcon_. The repairs will take awhile."

"So will mine." Luke smiled. "We have time. Fett probably knows we have people looking for him, so he'll be careful approaching Tatooine."

"Then I'll come back later to discuss details." Lando stopped by Leia. "I am sorry, Princess. I'm sorry for all of it, and I'm very sorry I was a part of taking someone you love away." She tensed, but he mistook it for her anger at him. "The only thing I can do now is help fix it."

He left the two of them alone. Leia didn't move, and didn't look at Luke. _Someone that you love..._ that was definitely something for her to have told Luke. Heavy, tense moments dragged by before he asked softly, "What happened?"

She didn't answer immediately, but she did move closer. "Where should I start?"

He didn't give the reply she expected. "Start from the beginning, when I last saw you on Hoth."

"You know some of it already..."

"Don't bother with that. Just tell me."

"Starting from Hoth... it seems so long ago" She pulled Lando's chair over and sat down, sighing. She explained about the cave-in cutting her off from her transport, then the long trip on the _Falcon_, and their inability to get the hyperdrive working long enough to lose Vader.

"When did they bring bounty hunters in?" he asked.

"I don't know exactly. Most likely when we were in the asteroid field affecting repairs." He gaped at her, and she smiled. It was an incredible statement to make. She clarified what she had said: the asteroid field; Han believing he had the hyperdrive fixed and its failure; the slow trip to Bespin and Lando, someone who Chewie felt wouldn't take them in after Han's betrayal; and then Vader. She was quiet when she first finished. "I was going to tell you."

He was unreadable. "That you love Han?"

Her expression _was_ readable: pain. "Yes."

"You don't have to tell me."

She raised her eyes to his masked expression. "Yes, I do. I have a lot to tell you. I'm hoping when I'm done, you'll ignore my audacity when I ask you something."

That broke through his rejection to make him curious. "Ask me what?"

"Don't go."

He stared, stunned. Go?

"Actually, it's ironic, because in the beginning it was my biggest wish that you would go. And take Han with you."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Losing Alderaan, and everyone I cared for, cost me a great deal. I never could understand how you lost so much, and yet still left yourself open to Han and I. He couldn't do it, and neither could I."

He slipped his hand in hers and held strong. Her eyes glowed with gratitude. "But you did do it, you both did, or none of us would be here."

She nodded. "But not in the beginning. I think you held us together then. I didn't want to lose anyone again, and the best way to avoid it was not to let anyone in my life." She fumbled with a smile. "Han was easier to drive away than you. He wanted to go so much already, but he couldn't, anymore than I could pretend not to care. And then you, you were a part of me before I even realized it. Somewhere between when you first walked in my cell in that stormtrooper's uniform and our escaping the Death Star, you already mattered a great deal to me. We've always had a connection, haven't we?" But she was rubbing her tired eyes, and didn't see his answering nod. "Or maybe I'm just being melodramatic. As close as we were, I couldn't understand why the rest didn't happen, but I finally acknowledged the truth. It's not what we're meant to be, is it, Luke? As much as I love you, and I do, we're not meant to be together in that way."

"And Han?" he asked, although the answer was obvious.

"I never fought anything harder than I fought Han. I knew he wanted to go, because I knew he had the same fear I did, wondering what would happen if he let his guard down. I think we fooled ourselves all this time; we each thought we were in control of the situation, but we weren't. And then we fought each other even harder. He wouldn't offer to stay, and I wouldn't ask him. In our best moments, I thought I would."

"Because you love him."

She finally told him simply, "Yes, because I love him. But Luke, you have to know, that it may be different than the way I feel for you, but you're no less important to me." She almost told him what else she was thinking: that a piece of the puzzle was missing between them, that there was something else. But since she didn't know herself what the piece was, she let the thought go. "By then, I was afraid that if I did choose one of you, the other _would_ go. And I didn't want to hurt you. So I didn't say anything, and it wasn't fair. I'm sorry."

He didn't know what to say. All she had said, he understood. Looking back now, he saw all the times Han threatened to leave where right after all the times when Solo saw how closely tied they were becoming. Each of those times was preceded by Leia being the most open and warm, and following each threat to go, she'd be at her most distant. Each of them trying so hard to close themselves off from more possible pain... except him. Luke had cajoled, settled arguments, or simply camped out on their doorsteps refusing to go away. Without knowing it, he had done exactly the right thing.

Ord Mantell, he thought. It all came to a head on Ord Mantell. Not the bounty hunter, the night before the bounty hunter came after Han for the price Jabba had on his head. That was the night Solo came to his senses, and realized how entangled he had become. Luke had always believed the Corellian left Hoth not so much for the price on his head, but because of that earlier evening as they sat around the _Falcon_'s lounge -- he, Han, Leia and Chewbacca -- and celebrated a Wookiee holiday called Truth Night; a totally fictitious holiday, it ended up, something the Corellian and Chewie had created as a joke.

_It was so right then_, he thought. They were happier than they had been in a long time. What a great night they had had; afterwards, they had sat on top of the _Falcon_, quiet for a long while. He had finally remarked that nights like this made you see what you had. "I know, kid," Solo had answered, and he had stood up and gone inside.

Luke smiled at the whole memory and finally took notice of Leia sitting quietly next to him. "Ord Mantell?" she asked. Surprised, he nodded and she smiled with him at the memory. "I was thinking about that last night."

"When we get Han back, it'll be like that again."

She looked at him, the laughter gone. "Don't count on it, Luke," she warned. "Han may not come back with us. He had made his decision to leave. Even on Bespin, he was sticking to it. Don't be disappointed."

"Stop worrying about me, Leia. I'm not a kid anymore."

She agreed softly, "I noticed."

"And don't give up. I think Han will come back."

"I'm not giving up. I'm only saying that I'm finally accepting whatever he wants to do." She abruptly returned to their original topic. "That night on Ord Mantell, you realized your feelings had changed, didn't you?"

"I don't know, Leia."

She had to ask. "Just tell me how you feel, Luke."

"All right." _Why not_, he thought. She wanted to know; he'd tell her. "I love you."

"Yes," she said simply, "but how?" He hadn't anticipated the question, she could see, but it had to be answered. "How do you love me? That's the question I finally asked myself about you. Now you have to do the same. If you're like me, you'll find you unknowingly answered the question a long time ago."

And realized it on Ord Mantell? He remembered going to check the cockpit scanners, making sure the ship was secured. He returned and saw Han and Leia sitting together, talking. He couldn't see her face but he could see Han's, how relaxed he was and how he was just enjoying her company. Looking back, he was surprised. Not at his friends' behavior, but at his own lack of jealousy at the time. He had only been glad to see that the fighting had come to an end. As he drew closer, Han had given him a wary look, but he had only grinned and joined them.

When? When had he changed?

"Your Highness?" The medical droid entered Luke's private bay. "I must ask you to leave. Commander Skywalker must rest before his surgery in the morning and his signs show some agitation."

"Yes, of course." She stood up to leave. "I'll stop in to see you in the morning."

He just nodded. He didn't know what to say. He searched for the rejection he thought he'd feel, but nothing was there. Maybe he had changed since Ord Mantell; maybe before it. If only there wasn't so much happening at once: his surgery tomorrow and the plans to make for Han's rescue; deciding who Lando was, and dealing with Vader's news. And now Leia had finally spoken and he couldn't think clearly. But watching her go, he had to say something. "Leia?"

She turned around. "Yes?"

"Will you be here when I get out of surgery?"

"Sure. If you'd like."

"Good." Before she could leave, he said, "Leia, I'm not going anywhere."

Her gratitude was back. "Neither am I. You're my best friend, Luke."

And she left.

_Best friend_, Luke thought. Yeah, that did make sense.

. . . .

When he woke after surgery, Leia was there and so were the droids, Chewie, and Lando. He looked down at his arm and saw his new hand sticking out from the bandage wrapped around his wrist. Instinctively he tried to move it, but the fingers stayed still and his wrist ached from the effort.

Too-Onebee obviously saw his disappointment and the pain from the failed effort. "Your surgery was a success, Commander Skywalker. Your arm has accepted the cybernetic hand but you must keep it still for now. The tissues around the joined area are still inflamed and going through a form of shock. That will pass soon and we will work on testing the hand's movement then."

"It looks good, Luke," Lando said. "They did a nice job."

"How do you feel, Master Luke?" Threepio asked.

He was too weak to hide it. "Tired, very tired. What did they give me?"

"Too-Onebee has said the side effects of the anesthetic will wear off once you've slept more." Artoo whistled something to the protocol droid. Angrily, Threepio answered, "I know that, Artoo! Master Luke, we're not to keep you awake so Artoo and I will be going."

"Thanks, Threepio." His eyes drooped close.

Leia gave Lando and Chewie a pointed look. Lando spoke to Skywalker. "We'll leave too, Luke. Once you're better, we'll discuss those plans for Tatooine."

He only nodded, already falling asleep. Leia tucked the blanket closer around him, careful of the sore arm. Coming out of anesthetic sometimes caused chills and she wanted him to sleep peacefully. Worn lines showed around his eyes and mouth; so much had happened in such a brief amount of time, but rest should soothe some of it away. She brushed his bangs away from his eyes and, in his sleep, he frowned at the fussing. She removed her hand, ruefully acknowledging that her anxiety over Han made her doubly concerned for Luke.

It was still very early in the morning. She didn't have to be anywhere for a while yet. She sent a message for Threepio to come for her -- quietly -- in time for her first appointment, then pulled up the chair and curled into it, dozing lightly in case Luke awoke.


End file.
